3 Powerful Ways to Begin Healing After Hardship

Posted: January 8, 2018 by Shanelle

First of all… the best way to get over anything is to indulge in French fries, because food makes everything better! (At least for me that is…) But speaking of food… what happens when life throws us lemons and we don’t want to make lemonade. Sometimes we want to bite into that sour little lemon just to prove a point. We grieve, sulk and enjoy that bitter taste of life. But are you really making a healthy choice when you’re healing process consists of wallowing in anger and contempt? After all of that passes, there comes a time where you realize you need to get up out of the ashes and revive yourself.

However, how do you do it? You certainly aren’t ready to put on a happy face and walk out the door pretending the world is made of roses. But that’s ok. Because it’s OK not to be OK! However if you’re ready to mend your wounds, I have three short, but powerful tips that could drastically change your perspective on all you’re holding on too…

Admit it

Admit what happened. Admit that it sucks. And admit that you want to love yourself enough to move on. If you stick around denial-ville, you aren’t going to get any better because you’ll keep holding on to that toxic situation. I get it. It feels safe to hold on to the familiar. Why? Because it’s what we know… We know what lies on the other side, good or bad. It’s natural to want to control the outcome… However- just because it’s familiar, doesn’t mean it’s healthy to keep in your life. Once you take the step of acknowledging the mucky and yucky…  You’ll seeing the situation for what it is instead of what you want it to be. And I am almost positive that you will become wiser and ready to tackle your future with a fresh and enlightened perspective! 🙌🏼

Want a quick book recommendation? This one is a life saver for me during hard times…

Set Self Goals

If your goals revolved around a person or a semi-controlled variable that somehow managed to always let you down? I now encourage you to choose different your sights to set your eyes on. There is now no reason to rely on that someone else to make you happy because they didn’t care enough to live up to your expectations in the first place. And there is no reason to keep coming back to say… a dead end job if you’re leaving work everyday feeling unfulfilled and unhappy! Instead, begin to realize that you are strong enough, brave enough, and smart enough to have the world without the world’s help! You are free to accept that you have yourself to count on! And that is all you need. Why? Because if you rely on yourself to accomplish great things, the only person you’re held accountable to is yourself! And you can take things at your own pace, your own time, and wishing your own capacity of achieving and believing!

And if you have faith or want to explore it? Begin to understand you have God. He will provide and help you prevail through these hardships; the only person you need to make you happy, is a God that you can give all of your anxieties to… and he will never run away.

Close the Door

Take it from me. Just suck that poison out of your life! Put it behind closed doors and lock it away for good! There is no use in revisiting past hurt unless it’s for growth and reflection purposes, to see how far you’ve come. 😱 Seriously… Ask yourself! “Why would I even want to give that venomous circumstance a chance to reappear?!” As they say… a leapord doesn’t change their spots and often neither does our world’s heartache. If a snake bit you in the wild would you go back for more? I guarantee your first instinct is to say no. But sometimes closing that door is easier said than done. I totally understand.

But it is time to take those blinders off! Draw near to the ones close to you that can see your pain and have offered their helping hand in the past. They are there for you. Or talk to a trusted professional! They’re there to provide you with the guidelines and tools to discover how you can shut the door for good, and to understand why it remained open in the first place. Look to only the good things in life… and I promise opening that door again will seem drastically less appealing.

I BELIEVE IN YOU!

And if none of these tips work? I suggest you ask a friend out for a cocktail and some good old fashion French fries 🍟. And trust me… I know that taking the first few steps to healing can be hard, I’ve been there and am still continuously learning new ways to heal myself after heartache ensues. But once you get past that hurdle, your life will start to feel so much better, and it’s easier to relinquish those melancholy moods. I’ll make it a little easier on you… How about we vow together that we’ll take the next step and start living a joyful life again? Sound good?

I love you guys so much and I want you to remember that no matter what happens, you are made for love! And that should feel pretty dang amazing. 😘

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