When Milena Ciciotti posted her YouTube video, “Untold Truth About Saving Yourself for Marriage”, I doubt she ever imagined it would go viral- collecting over 1.1 MILLION VIEWS in a very short span of time. But God had a different plan for her, and when I came across the up-and-coming YouTuber… I knew she was the perfect fit for the first interview I would feature on my blog. She is a woman of faith with refreshing and raw view on sex, love and all those crazy taboo topics we have in Christian culture. She was my kind of gal.
So, I prayed about it. I emailed her. And I waited for a response. I was hoping that I could bring you all a fresh perspective when it comes to waiting for marriage and dealing with the connotations attached to such a stigmatized commitment. After all… anyone who waits past 17 to have sex is basically an alien, right? Well… praise Jesus because my prayers were answered and this lovely lady agreed to take the time to answer my pressing questions I had for her! And now, I am excited to bring you her very candid thoughts on this HOT topic!
First, let’s get to know our girl a little better…
If someone gave you only ONE sentence to describe who you are at your deepest core, how would you describe yourself?
I would describe myself as a very ambitious, short girl who wants to help as many people as she can!
S: Holla at me girl- I feel you… 5’3 and I got BIG dreams! Us shorties are firecrackers 😉
What are three things that give you TRUE joy in your life?
Three things that give me joy in my life would be Jesus (my Lord and Saviour), my beloved husband Jordan, and my two pit-bull puppies (Samson and Delilah).
And now that we know her, let’s dive in!
Back in October, you made a video called “Untold Truth About Saving Yourself for Marriage”. You had never really done a video like this before. What else, besides God, inspired you to go public with this topic?
The biggest reason for creating that video was to let other girls and guys know that they shouldn’t be ashamed about their virginity. It’s not something to be embarrassed about and I know there are a lot of people out there who are waiting, but are too scared to tell others!
I wanted others to know that they are not alone, and I’m here to talk to people if they need someone to connect with!
When you made your commitment of celibacy, were there other factors in play besides Christian beliefs? I’m curious to know what reasons you would give for why saving sex for marriage can be of benefit to someone non-Christian…
I think a big factor that played into myself wanting to wait for marriage… was that I didn’t want to give my virginity to just anyone. I believed that it was something to be held as special and worth waiting for.
For non-Christians who want to wait? I actually think there are more benefits to waiting than not waiting. Our society sexualizes everything. And we often related a lot back to sex, whether we noticed it or not! Although sex is great, it should not be the key element in holding a relationship together. A relationship goes far beyond the bedroom… and being able to learn about each other from a non-sexual standpoint is key 🔑!
If you were to be completely honest, did you ever have moments of doubt that you would not be able to remain a virgin until marriage? How did you deal with this?
Of course I had moments of doubt that I wouldn’t be able to remain a virgin until marriage! Have you seen my husband?! Just because someone is waiting… doesn’t mean they’re not tempted! It’s very normal to be tempted! With that begin said… we were constantly on guard. The biggest thing that can help us when we are tempted is to remove ourselves from that situation, so that way we won’t be tempted anymore. That’s how Jordan and I dealt with a lot of that temptation.
Do you feel the church, and society in general, should be more candid and real when talking about sex? Neither demonizing, nor glamorizing it? And why?
Sex is definitely over-glamorized. And we surely do not talk about it enough in the church! In church, we often treat sex as this mysterious, taboo thing… But I feel like people should be more educated and taught more about what sex truly is! We should be talking about the benefits of waiting, as well as the negative affects that can come from waiting as well (see next question and answer below).
We shouldn’t demand the youth to wait… we should be explaining to them WHY they should wait.
You mentioned in your video that you were bullied for being a virgin. If you had one piece of advice for someone feeling pressured to mold to the general populations standards, what would it be?
The biggest piece of advice I have for those that are facing the same predicament I did, would be to tell them that just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s right! Stick to what you believe in and what makes you feel like you’re upholding your personal standards!
Was that refreshing or what?
Can we all just say a big thank-you to Milena for opening up to inspire all of us with some words of wisdom? She is truly a woman who knows what it means to be made for love! Waiting for sex does not have to be a negative thing. Saving yourself for marriage does not need to be looked at as ‘weird’. I’ve got news for you all… plenty ladies and fellas are playing the celibacy game (including myself), but not enough of us are talking about it!
Remember, you are all made for love and putting out does not equate to finding a soulmate… If you’re not Christian, you have a choice to do go with how you feel… but if you are, perhaps this interview serves as a good reminder that you’re not alone. No judgment here! But know that whatever you choose… know that you have value and should never feel pressured to succumb to sex for the promise of ‘love’. You are worth WAY more than that… take it from me. 😘